Zari Reede was cutting herself some slack yesterday over tresses, and today I was having my tresses pampered. I really like my hairdresser. She is a down to earth lady with lots of character, spunk and a big heart. We discuss lots of topics when I am there for 90-120 minutes…I know, crazy for a hair appointment, but she is good. The topic tonight was about settling…She is mid-forties and tired of dating. She is convinced that there are no decent men left, and she has returned to a man, who most definitely is not good for her….or any woman. I mentioned a book she should read awhile back called, Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist. This book should be read by every woman who feels trapped in an unhappy, dysfunctional relationship and afraid to get out. Chances are the partner is a NP or BP.
My stylist decided that after being separated from her x for a time and dating, that she felt more comfortable with someone she knew and understood what to expect. After listening for a time, it wasn’t clear that she loved her x, so much as she wasn’t sure she could find anyone else who understood her. NP’s and BP’s are not good in relationships, but when their partner is about to give up they turn on the charm or give the partner just the thing they desire most.
I told her she deserved better, life was too short, and what’s wrong with being alone for a while. In the end, you can’t change other people, so for me to harp on her about the questionable choice to return to comfort and risk further heartache is senseless. The only thing you can change is yourself. I wish for her to find a special man who will treat her right and appreciate her inner beauty, but more than that, I wish for her the ability to love herself.
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